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Danger! When Men Travel Alone

Danger! When Men Travel Alone
by Doug Michaels

Traveling alone is dangerous! When men travel, they enter a dangerous territory where they can feel invincible and secretive allowing them to make bad choices. There is something about traveling alone that causes most men to feel larger than life and able to enter into dangerous situations that they would avoid at home. Evidence tells us that men struggle with keeping their marriage vows, staying healthy and faithful to their values and morals more when traveling than at any other time in their lives. But there are ways to stay safe and faithful to one's self as well as to one's spouse. Following are a few ideas to stay safe and faithful.
  • Have a plan for the evening. Don't just leave it open and have unstructured unintentional time.
  • Ask the front desk to disconnect the cable to your TV or unplug it yourself.
  • Have a travel buddy who goes with you on trips overnight. It's worth the cost.
  • Exercise at the hotel...it lowers temptation.
  • Phone a support person other than your wife each day for accountability.
  • Do not hang out in the lobby of the hotel nor go to the pool or spa.
  • Do not visit the magazine stand at the airport or hotel.
  • Have an emergency bailout plan...leave as if you are sick and go home.
  • If temptation is high at the hotel, go outside, get active.
  • Take healthy reading material or CD's or iPod to listen to. Recovery literature is good.
  • Make intentional appointments with other men to do things with (this works at conventions).
  • Avoid going to movies alone and don't go to any PG-13 or R rated movies.
  • Avoid cruising around town with no agenda.
  • Be accountable with your finances when traveling...tell your friend or wife how much you are taking with you, show them receipts. Be honest and transparent.
  • Ask a friend to call you during the day and evening, then answer the call and talk.
  • Take a picture of your family with you and put it in room, possibly on the TV.
  • Avoid too much alcohol, do not eat at bars and don't linger at restaurants.
  • Do not contact old acquaintances from previous romances by phone or in person.
  • Eat healthy, sleep well. Go to sleep at your regular time or earlier.
  • Work on projects with spare time. Avoid the laptop if it has been trouble.
  • Take along a puzzle or game one person can do. Hundreds are available.
  • Avoid drivenness, busyness, high stress and radical changes to your normal routine.
  • Do not invite or allow any woman to be in your hotel room.
  • Do not go into any woman's hotel room for any reason at any time.
  • Buy a personal DVD player and watch healthy movies in your room.
  • Write a continuing journal to your spouse/kids while away.
  • Take quick showers and no baths.
  • Do not get a massage when traveling.
  • Always buy your wife and kids an inexpensive gift. The shopping trip is a good evening activity.
  • Before traveling, find a SA or 12 step group at your destination and attend.
  • Pray for strength, awareness and protection from God.
  • Avoid caffeine at night as it keeps you awake which leads to trouble.
  • Remember what has caused a relapse in the past and steer clear of it at all costs.
  • Tell the truth about yourself. Don't make up stories or create a false identity with others.
  • Avoid going ‘out with the boys or co-workers' unless you know their agenda is healthy for you.
  • Read this list every day when traveling.

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